Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Annie Boreson: An Inspiration


Unlike always this post is not about my feelings or my opinions about anything. Yesterday I came across a blog and this post of mine is dedicated to that blogger- Annie Boreson.

Anne is fighting from cancer. I specifically say "fighting" and not "suffering". The reason behind this specification of word is her spirit of living - actually living a life and not just breathing and not crying or blaming God for the obstacles she's having in her life.

Everybody is having problems in life, some of us have small ones whereas some of us have a bit bigger ones. But how many us fight with the problems?? How many of us look around and notice the people who have greater pains and sufferings  and still they have a breath taking smile on there faces??? Very few.

The reason behind writing this post is simple. You got to love your life unconditionally. You need to find that will to live it every moment. When I asked Annie- "What inspires you???" She gave a wonderful answer.

"As far as inspiration goes, I find it in other people. I think we all find inspiration in each other. I may have a bad day...but then someone does something nice and it pulls me up. People and their kindness inspire me." She finds her inspiration by looking around herself and finding those people who are suffering more than her but still don't loose hope and spirit.

So, everyone of YOU reading this, get up! Pull up your socks. You have had enough of crying about your problems. Now it's time to kick them away, such that they would never return back. Respect your life. Live it. Help other people in living it. Inspire people- get inspired. All of us look at our wound and cry for it! Do something different. Make fun of it. Embarrass your pain such that it will disappear!!

Here is a poem which I completely dedicate to Anne and all the people who have that Wonderful spirit to live life and the guts to chase your dreams even when path is not smooth!

Like a kid restarts to make his sand castle
When cruel waves wash it away
Like an ant keeps on trying
After it has fallen from a tree time and again
Like a farmer starts to plough harder
When his farm is destroyed by the heavy rain
Like when a mother nurtures a baby alone
When its father walks away.

Like a bird continues to look for food
When its first flight goes in vain
Like a nurse remains awake all night
Just to see her sick patient healthy again
Like a tree keeps on growing
When its branches are chopped
Like when a bird lays again
When her first egg was dropped.

Like a soldier holds on to hope
When the others think that the battle is lost
Like a kid stumbles often, he still crawls
He finally learns to walk, he doesn't stop
Like "Annie" who inspires the world through her blogs
Though in pain, she manages to laugh
Like one of the best mothers in the world
On whom her children are proud of!
So enough of crying, and get done with sadness.
What are you making fuss of??
Look beyond yourself, everyone's life is bizarre
So why to look at the sky, be your own blazing sun, own shooting star
Because you can't just sit and caress your scar
Because life is a long journey, and you have to go very far! 

-to Annie Boreson

Annie is a blogger, a mother of three children and a newlywed. Not to forget she has won 5 blogger's award as well and above everything- An inspiration! She can be reached at

Friday, 22 November 2013


Looking at the snow,
Outside my window
I saw a boy coming out of the store.
With a little smile on his face
He headed to cross the road,
Called the kids and gave away the sweets.
Like he was waiting for this
And stood there to greet.

Under the heavy grey sky
The color of his face was glowing high.
Out of all the people escaping the snow
I saw him dancing, he wasn't shy.
He opened his arms wide and welcomed the rain,
Like it was an angel sent for him
To release all his pain.
In his deep blue eyes
I could see all his dreams coming to life
Like truth standing strong,
Among all the lies.

A lady passed by him
Pale and old.
He gave her his jacket
To protect from cold.

Snow was setting on his hair,
Which he did not condemn.
They were looking like pearls
Like the white gem.

I got up at ones- opened the door
And walked towards him.
The air was cold
And the sky was dim.
He was now leaning on a grill.
My heart was beating fast
About to leap and make a drill.

I went near him and stood beside
What drew us closer I couldn't decide
I was standing still, Almost forgot to breath
He turned to me and smiled with an ease.

Meeting his gaze I remembered
A fairy tale my mom would convince.
On one absolute snowy day you will meet your *Prince*
He touched my face and I melted like dew
We came closer and it was time to hug, I knew.

I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck.
I hid my head in his chest.
Now... This was what I realized, I missed
And that was the moment- We Kissed!! 


Sunday, 15 September 2013

It's My Day!


I read my friend's status on Facebook, "Happy engineer's Day". So, I guess today is my day. :) I completed with my degree of an Engineer 2 months ago and now I'm the first and the only Engineer girl of my family. (I do pat myself for this).

But anyways, my post is not to boast about myself. It's something I noticed about myself and what being an Engineer taught me apart from that academic knowledge. I found out that the course of engineering was not just of those 4 years, where I was taught to design the things, or calculate the numbers. This journey started a way long back. The day when I was born.

As an engineer mends the damage of a machine, makes a new one, finds different ways to present the things, invents new gadgets, earns money and finds the best solution to some technical problem, similarly my life gave me the training of such things in a special subject- LIFE!

It taught me to make friends, it taught me to make up for your mistakes and apologize. It trained me to get up once again after getting hurt. I taught me that it's okay to get upset or depressed. I am allowed to feel jealous if someone was happy and when I was not. But then it also gave me the lesson that to become a good 'Life Engineer' you need to feel the damage of others and try with the best of your abilities to help them.

I made friends blindly, I trusted easily, I failed, I was scolded too. But this helped me to value the good ones and to pick wisely the next time. In this journey of 21 years of Life Engineering, I grew up as a person and still managed to keep that child and its innocence alive. I'm still making mistakes, like you do in exams and I'm still learning new lessons. But once in a while I still try to bunk the lecture when I'm reluctant to learn something. But I know, someday I have to learn it. I have to go through every page before I pass my exams with flying colors and get the degree of "Best Life Engineer".

So, it doesn't matter if you are not actually dealing with some machines or technology. But you are dealing with a biggest machine of all- Life! And you are dealing with it well. Be proud of yourself and keep doing it. :)

*Happy Engineer's Day*

Share with me what did you learn from your life?? In what lessons did you fail?? If you have some experience to share, write it to me! I'd love to know it. :)

Friday, 13 September 2013



After a long gap, my new post is about one of the most common words of everybody's life - FRIEND. World's best dictionary might have defined this word as: 

"friend: a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, ...... " 

But have you ever given a thought about the second word in the definition, which is- "person" ? IS everybody's friend actually some "person" in particular? Does one has to be a human being to become somebody's friend? I say NO!

Sometime back I watched a movie, Cast Away where when stuck on an unknown island alone, a man befriends a football. And that football turns out to be its only source which keeps him alive for 7 years and helps him to get back to his family. 

So, I ask, is it necessary for a friend to talk back or to give opinion or correct you when you are wrong (as most of us would point out)??? Can't any random thing be your friend?? Irrespective of its being a living or non living??

Wasn't that doll in your childhood your friend whom you gave some name? Didn't you cry when somebody broke her neck?? Isn't that pillow your friend whom you hug and cry when you miss someone in a lonely situation?? Isn't our mobile phone a friend, who helps us to listen songs, play games, talk to your loved ones?? Wasn't your first bike your friend whom you flaunted in front of your girl and the world??? Or your watch for that matter, which reminds you to be on time! Are you spectacles not your buddy who help to let you see the world clearly?? Yes!! They all are. Your tears which makes your heart lighter, your words which are adored and loved by people and of course your heart, which assures you that against all the odds it will keep on beating and keep you alive to let you see the beautiful World!

A friend doesn't have to be talking or speaking to you. Somebody who walks with you through the journey of life, who silently remains with you, accompanies you is also a friend. Look around yourself. There might be numerous unnoticed friends of yours, whom you never considered important, but their absence would surely make a difference... Love those "Friends".. value them!

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

I choose to Live!

In the times of despair,
In the days of my sorrow.
When things don't go fair,
When there's no guarantee of a tomorrow.

I look inside my heart,
And I see a light.
Amidst the darkness that tears me apart,
I find Hope that burns bright.

Those words of hope, a stranger gave
The moon shining for me d whole night
Though the fears are not less yet
Something stands with me like an armor of my knight

You try hard to bring me down
I caress d wound whole night
Yes, I'm hurt deep inside
But dis pain has given me d strength to fight

I know d healing would be slow
But Who said love was easy though
I've decided to stand strong
Smile is d one I choose to show

A voice in me is now so loud
"You cannot give up!"
It always shout!
And dis is the voice I'm going to follow
In a hope that rains would clear the cloud
So I just don't want to cry
I will get up again and still try
To get the pearl from the depth of life
This is the path I cannot deny!


Sunday, 7 July 2013

I broke up.


".... and I finally broke up." It's unbelievable that I'm still alive. Atleast breathing. He walked away without answering any of my questions. Within a second, like everything changed. I wonder is it really over?? I guess it is.

Why is it so that when a relationship ends, the memories don't?? Why does that dieing relation kills the person in you? I'm almost choked to death since that moment when he gave up. I almost forgot to breath the other day. I'm just not able to make out where did that care, urgency, desperateness, love, that togetherness go?? 

I am going to love him somewhere in my heart till the end... I might not love anybody else the way I loved him... I'm going to miss that feeling of holding his hands and feeling his warmth when we hugged. You know, when we used to hug I could clearly listen to his heartbeats. It was as if they were whispering my name. I'm going to miss it. Really!! Scent of his body which I used to smell from nowhere in the crowd even when we were away.. the way he used to look at me... I'm going to miss his voice, his talks. I'm more than anything going to miss the girl in me who existed once with him. I was so deeply into him that I could find his face in the face of  every actor on television who portrayed love. Funny. Isn't it? or Love?

He would not come across this blog ever. Because he did not support my blogging or any other hobbies. In a way I'm glad he did not. He doesn't need to know how I feel anymore.... I'm not able to express completely any of my feelings. It's just that something in me died... That space in my chest, where a heart resides pains continuously... I look in the mirror and my own reflection reminds me of him, and of the times we shared... Their are few of my close friends whom I'm yet to tell about this... Talking to them will remind me of his complete existence in my world. The city, the food, the roads.., he will bug me everywhere. Nobody would care for me like he did. I would not call anybody by those names , I used to call him. Eh... I just wish he gives up smoking soon.. 

That is it I think! He left... He walked away... I wish him happiness in his life... I know he would wish the same for me. I love you Stupid....

A chapter so beautiful
A song so melodious
A breeze so gentle
A dew drop so pure
A smile so mesmerizing
A touch so overwhelming
A life so dazzling
And a story of two hearts
Came to an end.
One was broken, the other was lost.

- by Esabella to the one who was.... Everything!

Sunday, 30 June 2013

Try till the last breath

Yes, they say I'm wrong
yes, they say, I'm going to fall apart
But, then why does it seems so right??
Like my life was never so bright.

They say, you are a mistake
But I'm ready to take
They say, you're going to hurt
I know you are not that fake.

Possibly I might at the end, die
But still I want to try
They say, you might disappear some day
I know I'm going to cry

You are like a beautiful poem of mine
Like a dazzling diamond in the glass of Wine
You are the favorite scratch on this heart
I don't care if you tear it apart

I know I'm being stubborn
But your presence is Heaven
I know I'm so in Love
And you fit so into me like a suede glove

Just because you are going to turn me down
I am not going to frown
I am going to take chance and going to give you many
Because this is the way I've known to Love.
And I'm going to try till the end with my every single penny.

So I'm going to try hard today
And try harder everyday
And even when I don't have anything to say
I'll hope that dark sky will someday turn grey.

So, for the prettiest color of sky
For the every flight I fly
For every tear now dry
My hopes will never die

And if it doesn't work, I'll never regret
Because I'll know you were hard to forget
But when I come to this World again
Then you will be the one, I'll abstain!!

Sunday, 23 June 2013



I know... I've disappointed the people who would have just started looking forward to my posts by almost disappearing without any notice. Whatever the situation it might be, a writer does not have the right to let its reader down. But being new at this, I admit I loose control over myself.

I am not going through some very good times right now and any ways this blog is not about my mellow dramatic story. This post is for the reason why I considered writing again. In past one month I quit coming to blogger, I did not even open my BC account. When opened it just now there were around 178 notifications. Holly crow!! The only reason for giving these things up was, they were simply irresistible not to read or answer back. But I was so tiered of things around me that though my mind was always ready to answer back, but my sadness held me back.

Until now, when the day is no different than past few, while checking the tweets and reading a blog about completion of 1st blog-anniversary, it reminded me of the title of my blog- "IMMORTAL WORD OF ME" This was the moment I felt angry on myself for refraining myself from writing. Because this was the place I promised to people and above all, to myself that whatever may come, I'll always be alive here, through my thoughts, poems, incidences, sketches. I realized that if there was just one place in the world where I can find myself back was This! A place where I can just be... Me. I surely cannot loose my identity. So, I finally decided to open my account and shoot my thoughts after a long long time. 

And when I'm back, I cannot go without thanking some of the very important blogging friends of mine for always being there, encouraging me and remembering me.

Rumpunchdrunk- for being one of first few followers and a constant source of inspiration to write, who makes me think upon the topics which I doubt that did they even exist before??

Dan Bonser- for always writing about the love between him and Lisa, and for always giving hope that true love is meant to be together against all odds. Bless you both.

Bill Williams- for always writing beautiful conclusions out of his spiritual reading and letting me know how important it is to believe in yourself and God. And ofcourse at the same time being unbelievably witty.
Robert Morschel- for being in touch through twitter, for letting me read his book when I couldn't afford it. It was really awesome and for being really witty through his blogs.

Opinionated Man- who writes tremendously beautiful lines, even when trying to offend his readers.Really a great job OM.

Patricia- for writing inspiring posts about life and featuring the beautiful writers as well.

NothingProfound- for saying the length of pages in just few words through his Aphorism. Few words to explain entire book.

Thank you very much for always being there. Journey and the restart would have been impossible without you.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

A lost love: to a non living thing!


It is just a random post. If you could not connect yourself with it, then also it's fine. Just thanks for reading it, because i wanted you to. 

This evening I woke up after a short nap from the afternoon. I looked outside my balcony and I could see a beautiful color of the sky. The shade of pink blended perfectly with orange, white and blue. Believe me it was a mesmerizing view... I felt a strong urge of capturing that moment in my mobile. And there I was stuck. I missed my mobile.

For many of you loosing a mobile might be a no big deal, but for me it is and will always be. Since the day I lost it,I could actually never share how I felt about it. Neither with my mom nor with my boyfriend. Don't know what but something held me back from letting them know how hard I missed it. So, I decided to tell its story to all of you.

My HTC was the most expensive mobile anybody had in my family. Actually my dad bought it for himself, but I liked it so much that I just told him the same day, "It's really awesome. I wish I had it." Few days later, (not even completing a week) my dad gave it to me saying, "I'm not able to deal with its functions. You keep this." I knew he gave it to me purposely because I loved it. How sweet of him. Of course that's how parents are. 

Since that day I flaunted my handset among my friends, clicked 100s of pictures flaunting its clarity. I sometime even flaunted it lovingly to my dad too. Many of the picture I uploaded in my blog are also credited to it. Many times I thought that as  soon I get the job, I'll buy an iPhone. But thinking back again, I knew I wouldn't have bought any other mobile unless I really needed to change this. It satisfied all the needs, in fact more than I actually needed. Or at least I would have kept it with myself forever. It somehow became the in separable part of my life. Not only a mobile but also a friend, a secret keeper, a notepad to scribble my thoughts..a constant 24x7 companion. Anything than just a mobile. I had a folder of all my special songs in it. Trust me, it gave all together a different feeling listening those songs in its music player. After it got stolen, I even downloaded those songs again and tried to listen them but the feeling is irreplaceable. Many of you might be finding it funny or may be immature to miss just a handset for so long. But I feel it justified. 
the only memory I had of my phone- its earphones. (mine are black)

Is it not strange how just a non living thing gets so close to you. How you miss it like you miss any other person in your life. I can really feel it. I know I'm going to miss it for long.., not knowing if even I could ever fall in love with anything near future... At least not so soon... 

So do you have any such memory of yours?? 
Did you ever face this situation in your life??
What is that thing?? Your bracelet, lucky charm, mobile.. anything?
Do you miss it?? I miss mine. 
Whatever it is.. share your thoughts. I'll be happy to know about it. -_-

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Greed: for good or bad??


        I was in no mood to write any post today, as I was already enjoying my time on twitter and reading other blogs. But a situation again took hold of my thoughts and I decided to scribble them.

         Isn't it a human nature that when you get little, you strive for more. Then when you get to the next step, you try to reach even further.  Sometimes, pointlessly, you just want to grow big and bigger. I want to ask you that if your greed is not helpful for others, if you don't have anyone to share your success of achieving your target, then will this urge of wanting more still continue?? Or will it die??

          For example, as a new blogger you'd want to increase your traffic. This would make you feel that if not all of them then at least few of them are reading it. After a while, when the traffic graph would go fine, you'd want to have comments on them. When you'd get comments, you'd want more of them.

           Just now I saw a post with +1729 on g+ and it tempted me again, thinking can I have these many +1s??  But, then what is the use of this? If nobody is reading them, and just blindly forwarding it? What if you don't have anyone to share the happiness of receiving Best Blogger Award??

            Another example I'd want to give would be of a millionaire. Even if the person is already the richest one in the world, still he has the greed to earn more and more money! I ask why?? If that is not serving anybody, if that money is not useful for the needy ones then what is the use?? If there is still poverty spread around you, and you money isn't able to educe it even a bit, then what is the use of that money you earned?

What basically I want to ask is:

Do you think it's good to be greedy? Where will this urge of having something more after every time you have climbed the previous step will lead?

Do you think that reckless desire, that pointless temptation of something with nobody around you to share it is actually satisfying??

And where does this greed ends?? Or does it actually has any end??
Think about it and share your views with me. I'd love to hear from you.

Thursday, 16 May 2013


A BiGG Hello...

        Finally ended with my final exams of my final semesters. I actually realized how hard it was for me to keep myself away from blogging. It's good to be back now, like coming back to a known world!

         On the last day of my college somebody stole away my mobile phone. Yeah, many of you would find it a normal incident, but for a girl who never lost even a penny or even oldest of the things since she was a kid, loosing a mobile phone worth Rs. 13,000 is still like a trauma. Anyways, the sadder part is, I saved a poem as a draft in that phone, which is also gone with it. Ouch! It hurts. But then, I consoled myself saying, "It's okay. I'll write another one with more efforts."

I remember few of its lines, few I rewrote.

I'm a time trapped in a clock
I'm a wave trapped in a sea
He's a flame, burning sharp and bright
I'm a smile trapped in a glee

I'm a wish locked in a prayer
I'm a God locked in a temple
He's a flight to be taken high in the skies
I'm a strength locked in a tree

I'm a destination trapped in a way
I'm a flower blooming in May
He's dew, fresh and pure
I'm the words trapped to say

I'm a shadow locked in the lights
I'm a memory locked in pain
He's is the heart beat, well mechanized
I'm a thought trapped in a brain.

-By Esabella

Tuesday, 2 April 2013



Drop by drop they roll down
Moment by moment it fills the heart
Step by step he goes away
Everything in between is falling apart

Walk by walk the memories come
Each memory has a story
Story by story I sink again
With a sure hope of no glory

Round by round I spin the thread
Thread by thread the love grows
Suddenly the thread s broken
What have I lost, no one knows

Hope by hope I swim to the shore
Effort by effort I proceed
A chain in my legs stops me
However hard I try, I cannot succeed

Ray of hope seems to be away
But I'm determined to find my way
Wave by wave I get stronger
I feel my chains would break away.

-By Esabella

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Result and Thanksgiving


RESULT!! A six letter word which always takes my breath away! I skip not just one but many beats to hear that word! Oh Gosh... A moment of complete "Blank" state,. In either of the cases- If result is good or If result is bad! It has always been a burden for me until they are declared.

I just went through this state about an hour ago. My results are out, and thankfully and by God's grace I cleared all my subjects with distinction in 3 of them (out of 5).. :) A damn happy moment for me.! I almost expected to fail in one subject, but  gratefully I didn't. :)

This made me think about few things:
1) Real exam starts after you give your exams and wait for the results.
2) (if you fail in any exams of your life) Your mom will never judge you as weak or dumb, but she'll always be happier than everybody, if you pass that exam!
3) (for me) If you go in immense state of happiness, you are unable to make out the way you should react. (I'm expressionless at the moment)
4) When your result is good, you can always give condolence to the one who could not clear it (and of course say, "Failing is no big deal dear. It's ok"). But when it comes to you, you find everybody's condolence as a shit! ("its easy to say this, because you have not gone through it!" )

So, for a while when I celebrate my"Result", I leave you with the following questions:
1) Which was the horrible result of your life? The most unexpected one?
2) Which was the surprising result? The happiest one?
3) If you are a grown up, then are you still scared of results?
4) What do you do when you have a doubt on your result? Do you bribe God?? :p
5) If you are a parent, how do you react on your child's result?
6) Do you feel results are important at all? Or are they always important??

Your valuable comments will be awaited as always. :)

Monday, 4 March 2013

Perfection: Reality or Myth??


It's been a long time, I wrote a post. And the reason was: "I was blank!!"
Anyways.., again, a worm of thoughts is crawling in my head and is asking me. : "What is perfect love???"

Or is there anything like "PERFECT LOVE"??? Nobody is perfect they say, , then how can a love be perfect??

Don't you think these tv shows has raised the expectation levels of each and everyone, and in turn we expect our partner to be more like your favorite character??? But thing doesn't turn out that way.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, we accuse each other, we blame, we fight..., and we expect that our partner should have behaved this way instead of the way he actually behaved. So, at that time, with whom do you compare our partner with??

For an instance, if you are a man, your ego comes in between and you don't accept your mistakes at times. But the girl having some favorite character in tv or some guys whom she idealize.., will expect him to apologize and accept his mistake. Similarly the case goes with a guy idealizing a character as his girlfriend??

My question is, who's fault it is?? Is it the girl?? The boy?? Or the story writers of these daily soaps?? DO you believe in the thing like "PERFECT"...??? Or perfection is a MYTH??

Feel free to express or discuss!! :)

Tuesday, 19 February 2013



Here is my new sketch of Channing Tatum, the famous actor, whom I never noticed before watching the movie "The Vow"... Since then, he bagged my list of favorites!

-sketched by Esabella

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Blood or Heart??


College started and it is the reason why I couldn't write for long. But today I couldn't took my hand away from scribbling my thoughts and question which is bothering me.

It's said that there are few relations which God decides for you and there are the other ones which You CHOOSE for yourself.

But then I want to know, when actually a situation comes, whom do you ACTUALLY choose?? What will you do if you have to be on either side? Which path would you take??

The chosen relations can be Friends, Lover or a girl or a boy, whom you consider equal to your brother or sister. The decided relations are parents or any of your blood relations. 

There are those difficult times when you have make a choice. Then at that time, what do you prioritize more?? The relation which your heart made?? Or the one which is your blood relation??

What will you do if you can save either your brother or best friend?? Or take side of your parents or Lover??

What are the thoughts in your mind when you decide? ARE YOU brave enough to take the side of the one who truely deserves it?? Or you become weak and choose the other side, because AFTER ALL they are your blood relations??

Share your views and thoughts!!