Wednesday, 17 July 2013

I choose to Live!

In the times of despair,
In the days of my sorrow.
When things don't go fair,
When there's no guarantee of a tomorrow.

I look inside my heart,
And I see a light.
Amidst the darkness that tears me apart,
I find Hope that burns bright.

Those words of hope, a stranger gave
The moon shining for me d whole night
Though the fears are not less yet
Something stands with me like an armor of my knight

You try hard to bring me down
I caress d wound whole night
Yes, I'm hurt deep inside
But dis pain has given me d strength to fight

I know d healing would be slow
But Who said love was easy though
I've decided to stand strong
Smile is d one I choose to show

A voice in me is now so loud
"You cannot give up!"
It always shout!
And dis is the voice I'm going to follow
In a hope that rains would clear the cloud
So I just don't want to cry
I will get up again and still try
To get the pearl from the depth of life
This is the path I cannot deny!


Sunday, 7 July 2013

I broke up.


".... and I finally broke up." It's unbelievable that I'm still alive. Atleast breathing. He walked away without answering any of my questions. Within a second, like everything changed. I wonder is it really over?? I guess it is.

Why is it so that when a relationship ends, the memories don't?? Why does that dieing relation kills the person in you? I'm almost choked to death since that moment when he gave up. I almost forgot to breath the other day. I'm just not able to make out where did that care, urgency, desperateness, love, that togetherness go?? 

I am going to love him somewhere in my heart till the end... I might not love anybody else the way I loved him... I'm going to miss that feeling of holding his hands and feeling his warmth when we hugged. You know, when we used to hug I could clearly listen to his heartbeats. It was as if they were whispering my name. I'm going to miss it. Really!! Scent of his body which I used to smell from nowhere in the crowd even when we were away.. the way he used to look at me... I'm going to miss his voice, his talks. I'm more than anything going to miss the girl in me who existed once with him. I was so deeply into him that I could find his face in the face of  every actor on television who portrayed love. Funny. Isn't it? or Love?

He would not come across this blog ever. Because he did not support my blogging or any other hobbies. In a way I'm glad he did not. He doesn't need to know how I feel anymore.... I'm not able to express completely any of my feelings. It's just that something in me died... That space in my chest, where a heart resides pains continuously... I look in the mirror and my own reflection reminds me of him, and of the times we shared... Their are few of my close friends whom I'm yet to tell about this... Talking to them will remind me of his complete existence in my world. The city, the food, the roads.., he will bug me everywhere. Nobody would care for me like he did. I would not call anybody by those names , I used to call him. Eh... I just wish he gives up smoking soon.. 

That is it I think! He left... He walked away... I wish him happiness in his life... I know he would wish the same for me. I love you Stupid....

A chapter so beautiful
A song so melodious
A breeze so gentle
A dew drop so pure
A smile so mesmerizing
A touch so overwhelming
A life so dazzling
And a story of two hearts
Came to an end.
One was broken, the other was lost.

- by Esabella to the one who was.... Everything!