Hello...
Before deciding this topic for my blog, I came to one conclusion about myself- "I refer the world for a solution but do only what I think I should."
Actually I was getting an irresistible urge to write something but wasn't getting any topic to write about. So, I decided to ask my friends to suggest me the topic. They came up with number of ideas like- social networking sites, rights for women, women freedom, media, technology and all such stuff. There suggestion were appreciable but as I said, I'll do the thing which pleases me. Lolz :)
So, I came across this thought- "How would it be if I live life of somebody else for a day??" And my mind jumped to my favorite people in the world- Shah Rukh Khan And Tom Cruise!! But they seemed to be very busy and I decided not to disturb them. Big people you know.. :D
Then I saw my mom working in kitchen and I thought, -Why not her?? and since then she became my choice for the topic. But I actually did not wear her shoes, I just observed her doing the things and tried to analyze them from her point of view and to understand the logic behind them. AND this is how it went...
Yesterday was Sunday and my dad was at home. To be honest the day is a mess when he's at home. Its not because of his presence its because of his stubbornness to watch his favorite channel on TV and to cook the dishes from his menu!! so, the weather at my home was as expected.., Terrible for me. Could not watch even a single program on TV :( , could sleep for long and could eat noodles!!
But there was one person so unaffected by this- mom! She woke up early as usual, got freshened up and gave bed tea to dad. I was still on my bed.. then she started preparing for the breakfast and lunch. Later after an hour I woke up and said, "mom, tea!." She went into the kitchen and within minutes.. my tea was in my hand with cookies. :)
Then me and mom sat up to watch Tv, and after some time dad came and changed the channel as if there was nobody in the room watching it. I got so annoyed by this and covered my face with a blanket and went to sleep again.. at least that was what I portrayed. but my mom conveniently got up from there and got busy with some other work. I was more annoyed- how can she not react??
Later she asked me for the lunch and I replied, " I'll have it when I want, you don't have to bother." she served dad and went in balcony for reading the newspaper and I kept lying on the bed. She came sometime later and asked me to take bath and I did not reply and she went away again.
Meanwhile she gave food to my pet, washed the clothes, arranged the utensils brought the grocceries and was sitting in the the hall. After 10minutes or so, dad asked for some snacks and she said, "sorry I forgot to bring." And my dad shouted, "then what do you do at home???" she got irritated this time and replied, "I do nothing. Fine?"
Then in the afternoon my stomach started asking for food, and keeping all my annoyance and anger on stake, I asked, "mom what there for lunch?" And she narrated the menu, and at last asked me, "should I serve?? I was waiting for you, so that we could eat together?" How sweet of her ... Right?? :)
In the evening also the time passed with such similar incidences.. A beggar knocked at the door and she went running inside dropped a coin in his hand. I asked, "was it necessary to give him that money?" And she asked, "will you go poor by helping him?"
And I kept watching at her for her care she had for some unknown. She cooked for the dinner. We never had maid in our house. Dad insisted on having one, many times but she always refused the idea by saying.. "We are a small family and we don't need an maid. I can do it myself. "
At night we all went to bed with the end of the day... But for my mom, I guess the day did not end yet.
My little pup wasn't well and he vomited at around 2. Mom woke up, cleaned the floor, cuddled him for sometime saying, "It ok baby, you'll be alright till the morning." (yes, he was fine again in the morning :) ) and went to sleep again without disturbing anybody in house.
And this is how the the day passed, and my 24 hour journey into my mom's shoe came to an end!
The things I concluded were:
- There are hell lot of things I need to learn before I shout on her.
- me or my dad have no right to shout on her after what all she do for us.
- We need to understand her more.
- If I would have been at her place I would have surrender in Hours, and she's been doing this since years for her family.
- How hard we try to justify reason behind our rude or careless behavior towards her, they are all nothing when compared to the emotions, care and feelings she have it for us
- And finally, She is just irreplaceable,I salute her patience, love and dedication she have it in her.
Your mother needs a gold medal. She seems to completely spend her whole time making sure you and your dad are looked after in the house from morning until night. And I'm sure she has been doing this from the day she got married. You mentioned at the end of your post that you learned some things by observing her. Then why not consider the following:
ReplyDelete1.Organize a big special day of treats just for your mother.
2.Bring her breakfast in bed, with a large bunch of beautiful flowers.
3.Take her out for a nice manicure, or to get her hair done or a massage or do something that you and your dad knows she would like.
4.Buy her lunch in a place she has always wanted to go OR better still, get your dad to cook her something by using a cookbook recipe if he can't cook. Make sure you get a nice bottle of wine.
5. Buy her something special that will make her remember the day, a new dress, shoes, a ring or chain, something that she will have for a long time, with a card too.
6. Spend an evening going out to watch a show or take her to the cinema. Get her to choose, so give her options.
7. Finish the evening with buying her a nice dinner, then make sure when you get home, she is the first one to go to bed, whilst you and dad do any housework.
These are only suggestions but I'm sure between you and your dad, you'll think of something better.
But most importantly, don't shout at her anymore, no more rudeness etc, as life is short and she may not be here tomorrow. It's good that you studied her because you learned something for yourself too. Nice Post.
Thanks RUMPUNCH... I'll make sure to try at least few of the suggestions you gave. It was really nice to see you gave a thought about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I just hope the people reading this blog will somewhere understand their mom too... love her more. :)
There is a saying - "you never appreciate your mother until you become one". Or something like that. You have had the rare pleasure of learning to appreciate her early on. As a mother, I applaud your efforts. Mommy-hood is great. But, you feel unappreciated most of the time. Even if your mom doesn't voice it I am sure there are times she has felt it as well. It sounds like your mom is "super-mom", but even super heroes need a day off every once in a while. I agree with RPD, find a way to show your mom you appreciate her. Tell her you love her every chance you get. And, give her a day off. If my insight into your mom's character is right, she will probably balk at the idea of taking it easy for a day. Make her do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteYes nattie, even my mom says it sometimes-you won't understand until you become a mother. But I know I do understand her. Its just that I don't let it be felt. (spoiled brat I am..lolz)
DeleteAnd yes, you are right again, she wont take even a day off for herself.
I'm thinking of going for a movie with her.
Last time went for Twilight! :)
Thanx for your reply.
A 'housewife' is an unbelievably daunting job that is probably the most unappreciated thing you could do....
ReplyDeleteMy fiance's Mom is always critical of me, in many many ways. I'm a man, I need to be working while she stays home and does stuff, but the fact is, Lisa works, and I take care of the house. I do the dishes, the laundry (...aw crap today is laundry day...), and do a good majority of the cooking. My fiance's Mom, when she was just a house wife, she'd complain about how much work it was, but now that a man is doing it for her daughter, she's complaining because I have it too easy.... Yeah....
On a side note, I'm 6'3" tall, and I CAN wear my mom's shoes. Yeah, 8.5 shoe size....
Dan... I must say u r really tall. (i cudn't resist saying this) lolz.
DeleteI really appreciate you for doing all the household job. I'm sure u do it very well. You set an example for those men, who never help with their wives. be proud of yourself.
Thanx for Replying.
You mum sounds amazing and loving and also the person holding up the entire family. Be proud of her and help her in any way possible to make her days go a little easier, now that you understand her better.
ReplyDeleteMama...
DeleteYes, I try to make things easier for her.. by taking her side when my dad doesn't appreciate her or shouts at her for silly stuffs. :)
U being a mom too can tell me if it is helpful or not. Apart that, I feel like helping her in other ways, but I'm kind of a lazy kid..,(but lovable). But now I'll try to move my butt and help her.
Thanx for ur reply.